triggering myself body-checking and looking at old pictures of my stomach eugh
I like how Obama can just casually say to the press (verbatim), “We tortured some folks,” but we’re still cool with him because he knows what gifs are. It’s really interesting.
i can’t believe “we tortured some folks” is a real phrase that came out of a real world leader’s mouth
tomorrow I’m going to get up early and go to boots n buy lots of nice bath products and do self care and watch the x-files and write and then on sunday I’m going home and my mum is taking me out for sunday lunch >:)
- richard dawkins: I have no intention of owning anyone, and nobody will ever own me.
- john galt: I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.
- richard dawkins: kiss me, you fool
I don’t have a home at the moment. I mean, I’m in the same room as I’ve been for two years but it hasn’t got any of my stuff in it any more. all my books are gone. I’m sleeping on the floor and my clothes are in a backpack and a cardboard box. the train tickets which used to cover my walls and remind me that there was a past, that vehicles connect that moment to this and that the person I am now also bought this ticket three years ago - they’re gone. I don’t have any tea bags or shampoo.
I have another room which my mum has cleared out for me. she’s put all my old stuff in it like it was before. but it hasn’t been my room in a long time. and it’s still difficult because on one hand, I do not relate to the girl who lived there and took selfies there and cut herself there. but at the same time I can still see the blood on the wardrobe floor.
I can’t go back but I can’t stay here either, not really. I’ve overstayed my welcome. I have to figure out how to go back into that room and remember enough that I don’t dissociate but forget enough that I don’t end up the same girl. it’s such a fine balance: remembering and forgetting. I’ve been trying for two years to get it right.
I don’t know where I’m going to stay in uni holidays. I envy people who don’t have to think about this. and yet I’ve got two places to stay. I feel uncomfortable in this skin but I have to live in it, I guess.
That’s so understandable & I wish I was moving a month earlier because my floor = your floor. We’ll have to exchange GHTG feelings afterwards though please!
we could live chat our feelings during the show and then publish it but i feel like im likely to degenerate into incoherent squealing after the first musical number
wildflowers in black in a vague sort of oval shape on the inside of my upper arm. lavender sprigs and dandelion and gorse flowers and primroses and celandines etc. i might get a little solar eclipse too.
nah my hair doesn’t like being interfered with it just does what it wants